this is what I was thinking about almost 17 months ago....waiting for a sweet little baby to fill our home with adorableness, wonderful (and not so wonderful) smells, cries and coos. And what a blessing she has been to us. We were so worried about what might happen....all the What If thoughts crowding out happy thoughts. And then she arrived.
And grew and grew and
filled our hearts with laughter and joy which pushed all the worry away.
She and her monmy moved out two weeks ago. How quiet the house is now. I don't see her every day. Chuck and I are learning to live without anyone else in the house for the first time in 28 years. I'm so lucky to have gotten to spend so much time with my Lily girl. It's time for Elisabeth to step into that full time roll of mothering and she's doing beautifully. I'm so proud of her.
This is Maggie. We lost her to old age and bad hips a little over a month ago. She would be 13 this month. I am so missing her. She was unable to get up the stairs for the last year and stayed in the living or family rooms unless she had to go out. I'm still listening for her tail to rustle against the carpet when I walk into the house. Expecting to hear her whine with anticipation of a meal. Watch her faithful friend Pansy (one of our cats) clean her face and sleep with her. My heart is empty.
So with all these changes I have some decisions to make. What are we going to do with the extra bedrooms? Should we take down the glow in the dark stars on the ceilings? Should I start unbaby proofing the house? What am I going to do about designing? That's a hard one. I've been a sluggish designer ever since I found out Elisabeth was expecting. Now I'm working full time and driving an hour each way to work. Do I have any creative juices left? I'm not sure. So I think I'm going to take some time to enjoy my time....stitch when I want, knit when I want, leave the house when I want. Spend more time with my husband. Revamp my office and finally have a sewing room that I don't have to share with guests, a computer, hundreds of charts and baby toys. I am so happy when I get a note encouraging me to continue to design. I think I will. We'll see. I have a few classes to teach this year but won't be taking on any new commitments for now. I also will not be able to fill any orders other than those requested by shops and distributors.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. I'm such a lucky girl....I have too many friends to even count! I'll continue on with the blog but I'm shrugging off the guilt and enjoying what comes next!